Saturday, November 26, 2011

Steven Colbert is God

Anybody who doubts that Steven Colbert is the funniest man on TV should click here, and watch the segment on vodka-soaked tampons.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Let's Go Kill Some Indians :-)

So, today is Thanksgiving.  You know: the holiday in which we remember the Pilgrims who would have starved to death had it not been for those nice Indians who brought turkey, pumpkin, squash etc., and all the nice white people sat side-by-side with all the nice brown people, and we all lived happily ever after.

Not according to my college anthropology professor.

In lecture he said that the first Thanksgiving was proclaimed by Cotton Mather--or one of those Puritan religious fanatics--to thank God for their heroic victory over the local Indian tribe, who weren't getting with the program.  Apparently, they convinced the Indians to gather inside a Puritan's house, and set it on fire, trapping the Indian men, women, and children inside.

So...while we sit around obsessing over those Muslim fanatics, just keep in mind that it wasn't that long ago that our ancestors did crazy shit like that, too.

Odds are, though, that when Abraham Lincoln and President Franklin Delano Roosevelt made Thanksgiving a national holiday (FDR moved the date that Lincoln had set) they didn't know about the mass execution.  By then history--which after all, is written by the victors--had blurred events.  As a matter of fact, you won't find a lot about this on the internet. You certainly won't hear people discussing this--or even what happened to the indiginous people of this continent, in general--while sitting around the dining room table, tonight.

Food for thought.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

4 Eagles and a Woodpecker

Saturday morning 19 November 2011

We were getting the kids ready for their last soccer games of the season.  My wife's sister, "N", called, and said, "My boyfriend canceled. He can't go with me to The Eagles concert!"

The wife said, "I can't go. Gotta organize the soccer team's award dinner." Next think I knew, I was on the way to Vegas with N.

Some comments:
(1) I have never seen The Eagles in concert.  Let me put it this way: those guys are in such good shape, and have such strong voices, that they don't need microphones. They're all 18 years older than me, and could run circles around me, without working up a sweat.  Glenn Frey looks like he could throw me over his shoulder, and carry me up and down the stairs.
(2) They put on quite a show.  Hats off to their audio-visual team.
(3) Hats off to the trumpet player. His three minute solo at the beginning of "Hotel California" brought the house down.
(4) Wow! I just saw The Eagles play "Hotel California", live!  I never thought that would happen.
(5) Joe Walsh is one serious, kick-ass guitar player.
(6) The majority of the audience members were AARP members, or at least eligible to join.  Three guys and their wives sat in front of us, and they were all Texas firemen nearing retirement age.  They, too, would be able to carry me up and down the stairs.  One of them was wering a Doxa 1000T Divingstar, and I made his day i.e. evening when I recognized the watch. It looked like this one owned by JSTWAZ:

Actually, the part that tickled him pink was the fact that I was not interested in his brother-in-law's Rolex Submariner.

But I digress.
The point is that the band and the audience were all over 50, and having a blast.  It made me feel good.  I just turned 45, and the idea of turning 50 in five years has had me in a panic.

Sunday morning 20 November 2011

After the obligatory Las Vegas all-you-can-eat buffet we hit the road.  I talked the sister-in-law into stopping in Zyzzx, where the Lewis' Woodpecker was ridiculously cooperative.  I actually got the bird for a visiting elderly lady.  It was a life bird for her.

 The rain started in Barstow, and grew worse and worse with each mile of asphalt that carried us out of the Mojave Desert, and toward the big city.  It's nice to be home in a warm house.  While I'm sitting here, somewhere out there on the 210 Freeway the Upland Fire guys are getting soaded while using the Jaws of Life on the lead car of that 4 car wreck we crawled past in the downpour. I hope the Upland boys get their chance to go to Vegas, too, soon.